Arson Pt. II

After a while of dealing with these anti-civilization feelings, I realized a way for me to overcome them: I am against so many things, why not try being for something instead?

The problem, though, has been that I don’t know what that something might be. Turns out the answer was with me all along. The something I am for is the Something More. I was thinking about a conversation I had a few nights ago about believing in miracles. What was so brilliant about this discussion was that afterward, I discovered friendships with people of completely different theological positions to mine. As I pondered exactly how that happened, I understood that it was our willingness to open ourselves up to one another.

Now, believing in miracles is great. It’s difficult for me since I’m something of a skeptic when it comes to the paranormal. But if other people are experiencing something miraculous… well, it’s comforting to remember that the universe isn’t limited to my own frightful experiences, to say the very least.

But isn’t this something worth fighting for? Aren’t I for setting people’s souls on fire? I wrote once about this desire:

I want to belong somewhere that’s alive with Christ’s message. Somewhere they dance in the aisles. Where everyone is allowed to speak their minds. Where they sing because they’re happy, not because they have to. I want to feel what community is really like. I want to see God in other people and for other people to see him in me.

But I don’t know how to make that happen. I don’t know where to start. And that urge to be a real light in the world is driving me insane. I want to set spiritual wildfire to the area. I want to get other people together with me and spread God’s love.

Whatever happened to that spiritual arsonist?

Sometimes, I’m not really sure how to begin this dream. When I examine the landscape of humanity, sometimes it seems like a vast expanse of apathetic zombies. Much like the soul-less, tiny-minded ants in the David Wong article referenced in Pt. I. And yet I’m sure there is a way to jolt the undead from their slumbers– it’s just a matter of finding a spark. And so in the end, what it’s all about is reawakening that unnameable Spirit within each of us. And this isn’t merely a theistic solution. But it’s not secular, either. It has both everything and nothing to do with religion. This Spirit is broader than creed, race, gender, nationality, and sexual orientation. It’s deep within humanity itself. And yet also somehow outside of it. It connects us and opens our hearts. It’s everywhere and in-between and you can call it God or Jesus or Dao or Logic or Love. It is the Way. And I want to make people excited about it.

If you are sleeping, wake up. If you feel silenced, speak out. Let’s be human again.

And so I am for dousing souls in gasoline and tossing in a match. May the flames burn brightly.

–Amanda

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